Persistence be damned

So. I clearly don’t update this blog a whole lot anymore, and I really do apologize. I don’t know what to tell you.

I’ve been busy. I’ve been lazy. I have a social life again, I have a girlfriend, my job goes from being dead as bones to super busy, family responsibilities pop up, a mouse invaded my room, and sometimes all I want to do is sit on my bed, eat Slim Jims, and watch Arrested Development.

In short, I have been all over the place, experiencing all kinds of things, hardly any of which are art related. I don’t think I drew a single thing in either of my sketchbooks for the entirety of August, and I’m ashamed of that fact. At the same time, the push I went through to get chapter 4 done exhausted me, and I slipped back into that “holy shit this sucks why do I even bother” mood.

It’s a weird internal struggle: I want to work fast, I want to be efficient, I want it to look good, but if I don’t feel like it looks good, if I’m just pushing through and working on the comic just for the sake of getting it done, without any real sense of accomplishment, why am I bothering? And that’s a dangerous mindset to get into.

Luckily, there have been a few writers and artists and others that I’ve been emailing, a shot in the dark really, and those that have responded have been fairly positive, and that’s encouraging. Also, one of the reasons I have a girlfriend now is the fact that she decided to  talk to me because she liked Other Sleep. Also because I’m devilishly handsome and charming, of course, but you get the idea.

One dude in particular has told me that he’s really enjoying the comic, but that he feels like I’m only using a percentage of my full talent, and that he fully believes that while I am getting better, I can push my work so much further. His words have been rattling around in my brain, and I feel like I should listen.

So while I would still like to be quick and efficient, I’m going to stop worrying so much about self-imposing any deadlines on myself and instead focus more on just making Other Sleep the best damn comic I can. By the time Ninel’s story is over, I’m hoping to be a completely different, and stronger artist than I was when I first started it earlier this year.

My overall goal is, no matter what, to keep moving forward. I mean, that’s what it has been, even when I was in school, but I need to keep reminding myself of that, that I can, should, and will do better.

Obviously, that also means not being lazy, and finding ways to overcome the inevitable bog I find myself in. I usually have some other projects of sorts on the side to keep me moving, but not lately. That’s another thing I need to deal with.

So again, I apologize for a lack of blog content here, but I want you to know that I’m not stopping, that no matter how much life gets in the way, no matter how lethargic I get, I will still be working to finish this comic, and I hope you all stick around for it.

And to everyone who has had kind words about Other Sleep, or about any of my other comics or whatever: thank you. You’re the reason I keep going.

[Brett]

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